As a female entrepreneur and mother, I had the privilege of attending the 2018 Mamas Making It Summit last month at The Line Hotel in Los Angeles. It was a day full of heartfelt connections between mothers—the perfect balance of serious discussion, contemplation, laughter, networking and pampering by many fantastic beauty and wellness brands.
Nearly 20 entrepreneurial mothers across fashion, entertainment, wellness, and beauty industries participated in inspiring panels led by Fashion Mamas founder and CEO Natalie Alcala. The morning started with a discussion between Natalie and keynote speaker—actress and co-host of Daytime Emmy award-winning talk show The Real, Tamera Mowry-Housley (you might also know her and her twin sister from the ’90s sitcom Sister Sister)—who shared so many wise thoughts that she had us all scribbling furiously in our journals.
I was able to grab a few moments with Tamera after the event for some real talk—I hope you enjoy her wisdom below.
At an event such as this, in a room full of successful women, how do you suggest that women disarm one another and don’t come across as competitive but rather supportive?
Oh wow, that’s actually a very good question. I think it’s just genuinely about wanting the best for each person that’s in that room. Knowing that the only, the actual true competition—this is what I’ve learned in my life through good and bad experiences—is when you’re in competition with yourself; that’s the only way I feel like you really succeed. If you’re constantly trying to compete with this person or that person, I think you lose your vision and your focus. You know? And so yes, I genuinely want each person in that room to succeed and know that they can do it and that’s the reason why I said, “be authentically you everyone else is taken.” An acting coach told me: “Yes, you’re going out for the same role, but when you apply yourself into that role, you’re going to be different than all those 100 to 200 girls in there.” So that’s how I try to think when I am, you know, doing my thing or I’m talking to other women starting their own companies because when you’re focused on what you can do and what you can do better and how you can better your community and the world, it always ends up positive.
I love that! That’s such a simple nugget of wisdom.
Tell me what you love about The Real.
What I love about doing The Real is that we actually break the stereotype that women, successful women, can’t get along. We break that. We actually help each other, we inspire each other, and we encourage each other. You really feel it on a day, like maybe you’re not feeling well or you’re sick, and the other girl literally just comes in and picks it up or she’ll literally just say “I got you. I got you this week.” That’s a great feeling. It’s an awesome feeling knowing that you like the people that you work with.
Give me your thoughts on failure. When you fail, what is your initial response?
This is what is the worst part: Failure is a part of life. [Laughs] It’s inevitable! You’re going to fail at some point. Here’s another nugget of wisdom—do not let that failed moment define you. ‘Cause you will fail in life; but you’re not a failure. You’re not a failure unless you stayed out, unless you quit. So let that moment teach you and propel you forward and as long as you learn from your mistakes, you’ll just do a little bit…it’ll come out better in the end.
That was hard for me because I tend to take things personal, actually everything personally. I didn’t realize that I was doing that with my failed moments as well. I would let failure define me and I would wallow in it and be like, “Oh my gosh, I suck, blah blah” and then I thought: “Wait a minute. No. I just didn’t do what I wanted to do in that moment. What can I do so that doesn’t happen again?” And I keep trying and I keep trying and I keep trying. Even though you might not get what you wanted, maybe not that role or whatever, but that experience, that moment in that time is going to give you what you need to move forward, if you learn from the situation.
Why do you feel it’s important for women in business to gather and support one another through events such as Fashion Mamas?
Oh my gosh, I actually…when I became a mom, just a mom in general, I realized that there is this mommy club that I needed to be a part of because I was talking about control and trying to do everything myself. It’s really important that you surround yourself with like-minded people. Even though I was speaking to the audience today, they were each inspiring me as well with their nods, with their laughter; it’s about letting one another know that we’re not alone in this.
Images provided by Fashion Mamas.