A Pep Talk For When You Don’t Want To Host

A Pep Talk for When You Don't Want to Host | DARLING | Photo by Bethany Douglass

It’s rare to have a day go by where the words “I’m so busy,” don’t pass through our mind or cross our lips. We fill our calendars to the point where even finding the time to relax seems like a chore. That moment of burnout feels inevitable; the “I just want to crawl in bed after a long day” syndrome plagues us. So, where do we find the strength to ditch a Netflix binge and follow through on that long-awaited night of hosting friends?

The healthiest approach for beating ‘flake’ temptation is two-fold. It’s a combination of integrity and fellowship.

The integrity side of our game plan is really mind over matter. It’s remembering to keep our promises, to be faithful to our word, and to fulfill the expectation. This can be a powerful tool in changing our hostess outlook. Oftentimes that initial thought of maybe I should just cancel  feels paralyzing, but a brief look at our own character can pull us back from the edge. We want to be seen as dependable, honest, and reliable. We want others to know that we honor our commitments.

But doing something solely on the part of “I said I would therefore I should,” can suck the joy from any activity. That’s where fellowship becomes the balancing act. This is the reason behind hosting in the first place. Those busy schedules of ours aren’t always built for intentional relationships. Work or errands eat up the hours in a day with precious few moments remaining for genuine connection.

And here it is: this opportunity for a sweet gathering that will recharge and refresh our very core. It’s when we feel exhausted, drained, and sub-par in the hostess realm that we need it the most. The house may be a mess, the dishes dirty, and the laundry full but our hearts are ready and willing. The evening doesn’t require a perfect crudité platter or endless array of homemade desserts. Let it be about laughter, honesty, and building relationships. If we’re deeply yearning for this time of rejuvenation, it’s likely our guests could use the same.

And here it is: this opportunity for a sweet gathering that will recharge and refresh our very core.

We can even minimize the stress further with simple tricks like constantly having a bottle of champagne chilling in the fridge, keeping a small assortment of frozen appetizers for last-minute munches, and stock-piling chocolate for a welcome dessert. Those little preparations will keep our hearts and minds on target.

So, the next time we encounter that temptation to flake, let’s look inward to our character then outward to our fellowship for a reminder of the beauty of intimacy in relationships.

What prevents you from feeling like a host sometimes?

Image via Bethany Douglass



Based in Boston, Leslie is the creator of one brass fox, a lifestyle blog exploring the dynamism of fashion, influence of beauty, and power of creativity. She adores brands focused on the conscious consumer, lives off hummus in all flavors, and makes a home with her husband and two kittens.

1 COMMENT
  • P Jamison September 18, 2015

    I love this post. What a refreshing, uplifting, and inspirational take on the topic. Where one expected shortcuts to preparing food or internal pep talks, this writer addressed the underlying character issues that can be so often pushed aside for the ease of convenience. This is truly what it’s all about: character and relationships .

    Thank you for featuring this wonderful perspective from a delightful writer.

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