A Merry Guide to an Imperfect Holiday

Can we just say it?  Holiday hosting is intimidating; especially for those of us who are new to the hostess spotlight. However, I am here to assure you that the spotlight’s once harsh glare can easily be transformed into a warm glow that soothes and invites even the coldest of hearts this holiday season.

All you need is a little planning, a couple of easy hosting hacks, a few deep breaths, and some help from your friends. Below are four key things to remember to keep the merry  in your gatherings.

1. Shame is Not Invited

What keeps most of us from opening our homes is the little amount of home (as in square footage) that we typically have to open. Many of us feel ashamed to cram people into our tiny living spaces, especially during a season that is trimmed with extravagance.

But the truth is, extravagance isn’t what opens the door or makes you feel welcome or allows you refuge and rest; it’s the heart and the intention of the one living there. Remember, your space isn’t what people are coming to see and spend time with; it’s you. Therefore, all YOU need to do is simply open the door.

 Remember, your space isn’t what people are coming to see and spend time with; it’s you.

2. Places, Places Everybody

When hosting a holiday shindig, it isn’t necessary to decorate your space from top to bottom, nook to cranny, crack to crevasse. In fact, it’s been my experience that less is almost always  more. A few pillows, a few strategically placed candles, a little red, green, and gold, and that should do the trick quite nicely.

In addition, think through food and beverage placement. Most people tend to congregate where the food is, thus bottle necking right at the base of your kitchen. Instead, place small tables of snacks and appetizers in a few strategic areas allowing your guests to mingle more effortlessly. If you are like me and hosting in a small apartment, move the food and beverages to a central location in the common area.

merry guide to holiday

3. Helping Hands

Ok, truth moment: Small talk intimidates me. From the time the first guest arrives to the time the second guest arrives, I’m often breaking into a cold sweat trying to think of topics to engage in, while simultaneously putting the finishing touches on appetizers and opening bottles of wine.

However, I have learned instead to engage those early arrivers. I almost always now leave one or two things still left to do when guests begin to arrive. This affords me an easy opportunity to dodge stifled small talk and instead join in on a group effort with my guests.

Little secret:  By doing so, this also allows your guests to take a small bit of ownership of the party as well and thus they will take a note from you and engage others more easily.

4. ‘Aint Nothin’ but a Group Thang

If solo-hosting a soiree is still too far outside your comfort zone, then enlist your friends.

Does one of your friends love music and somehow always seem to have the new Adele single before it’s even released?  Great! Have her be in charge of music. How about your friend who loves to bake?  Have her be in charge of desserts. Can someone bring wine?  Suddenly, something that was once on your shoulders is now being shouldered by many!

However, my one little tip when throwing a group party is to make sure that all of you are there before the first guest arrives. Nobody wants to be waiting on the wine, ‘ya heard?

At the end of the day, remember hosting isn’t about perfection or performance–it’s about heart and intention. As a writer once put it:

What people are craving isn’t perfection. People aren’t longing to be impressed, they’re longing to feel like they’re home. If you create a space full of love and character and creativity and soul, they’ll take off their shoes and curl up with gratitude and rest, no matter how small, no matter how undone, no matter how odd. –Shauna Niequist; Bread & Wine

Are you intimidated to host during the holidays? How can you try to change that this year?

Images via Hart & Honey



Brie hails from Denver, CO. A recent transplant from the bustling city of Los Angeles, her experience over the last 7 years as both a Client Services Director for a crisis pregnancy clinic, as well as Women's Care Counselor for a church in Hollywood, has given her a unique glimpse into the blessings and challenges that modern day women face. These days, her passion for cooking and her desire to preserve the family table shape her heart, and the ways in which it seeks to love, challenge and encourage. Find more from Brie at The Noshing Mama.

1 COMMENT
  • Chaucee December 11, 2015

    Great reminder on staying in the present and focusing on gratefulness and family. Hope you had a great Thanksgiving!

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