10 Goals for the Woman Who Doesn’t Know What Her Goals Should Be


I realized after reading more than one blog post and article with topics such as, “What I Would Tell My 22-year-old Self,” and “Finally Feeling Like My True Self in My 30s,” that I, as a young 20-something, was consuming a lot of material geared for a target market at least eight years older than me. I should have known this was the case considering many of the topics focused upon cooking, cleaning and, most mysterious of all, creating life balance.

As someone who has always identified with having an “old soul,” it makes sense that I would be drawn to the lives of those who are older, wiser and more put together. On the other hand, constantly seeing these images of women with their thriving families, careers and community can create a feeling of not matching up. While it’s good to seek wisdom and advice from those who have been through your current life stage, it can become harmful when their life becomes a point of comparison to your own.

Many bloggers and influencers aren’t talking about when they were 22, confused and in a perpetual state of “figuring things out.” They’re talking about their current lives; lives that were no doubt built and shaped by experiences and, yes, mistakes that were made in their twenties. There seems to be a lack of content that describes this pivotal time when we have more “I don’t knows” to offer than certainties. This, however, is a time to be celebrated, which is a truth I have decided to challenge myself to believe and trust. Life has a way of figuring itself out, and I can’t remember a single time when worry or fear aided the progression of my life.

goals in life

Image via Allie Jeffers

We all have a unique fire in our hearts and calling on our lives that we can trust will play out. In knowing that, it’s so hard when you don’t know so much. Trust me; I have more questions than answers right now. I don’t know who I’ll marry, when or if I’ve already met him. I don’t even know what career I’ll have or what city I’ll live in. That’s okay. Maybe if I stop mulling and stressing over these questions and follow that small tug on my heart, then it will lead me right where I need to be.

This is a time of celebration! I have more freedom now than responsibility, and I don’t wish to use this time out of selfish ambition but rather for self-discovery and shaping. I want to be kind to my ever-changing soul and stop holding it up to the mirror of those who have already gone through this time of discovery.

Maybe if I stop mulling and stressing over these questions and follow that small tug on my heart, then it will lead me right where I need to be.

Out of this contemplation, I have formed some goals and challenges as a reminder to be the most present and whole where I am right now. Hopefully these are goals that if you, too, are in the same stage of life, can find helpful and reassuring. We’re in this humanity together, and we should embrace all the life stages that come with it, no matter how confused or out of place we feel.

1. Don’t hide behind confusion or naivety.

This can be so much easier than setting aside quiet time to truly listen and discern what you want. Don’t hold back from saying or doing something because it is scary or hard.

2. Don’t hold your life up to those who are ahead of you (or beside you).

Everyone is on a different journey. Trying to live like someone else does not help you become the best you that you can be.

girl on balcony

Image via Tess Guinery

3. Don’t be afraid of people or of speaking up.

No one person or opinion holds more value than another.

4. Don’t let unkind words or false opinions get to you.

In that same vein, remember that your identity does not come from others; they cannot touch it.

5. Love those around you where you are now.

Even if you feel the impermanence of a current circumstance, don’t let the pull of future change take away from how full your present can be now.

6. Figure out a way to travel.

You’ve been dreaming and talking about it long enough. Now’s the time.

girl posing wall

Image via Tess Guinery

7. Practice kindness and gratitude to your family.

They are for you even when you don’t feel like it.

8. Remember how you were confused and scared for the future at 14? At 18? At 22?

Life never gets clearer you just get surer of yourself. Start practicing humble confidence and stop giving doubt and fear merit in your life.

9. Don’t be afraid to share your creativity.

Though criticism is unavoidable, the possibility of touching someone else in a positive or encouraging way outweighs the vulnerability. Plus, refer back to number four above.

10. Embrace owning your emotions, but don’t let them own you.

Stifling feelings never got anyone anywhere, but neither did feeding negativity.

Which of these ten goals feels the most practical or helpful for you right now?

Feature Image via Lucia Fainzilber

Blake is a writer and communications professional who desires to inspire and encourage women to be their truest selves. She is passionate about writing and creating, whether it be drawing, painting or mixed media. Other notable passions include: books, The Office, sweet potatoes and puppies!

  • Natalie January 23, 2017

    What a beautiful blog post! I really want to go travelling and I refuse to settle down until I’ve done it.

  • Anita January 1, 2017

    I’m 28 and graduated college 6 years ago… I still feel a little like I don’t know what my goals are. No matter your age, these tips are probably applicable for your life. Thank you for this article!

  • me_jvb December 27, 2016

    Still have to figure out how to do number 4 and number 10… But right on I am 27 and have fewer dram goal than I had when I was 22. Just trying to focus on knowing myself well so I can own my flaws and qualities in order to be confident.


  • Anonymous December 25, 2016

    I did and still do all of above. When people find out that I can do something for them or I am a little above average clever, they start taking advantage of my abilities. This included my former employees. As far as I am concerned this world is hell and when we die, we will go from hell to heaven. No one should agree with me because this is about my life. Now I have very strong goal and that is joining my parents ASAP. I keep asking them and they visit me in my dreams.

    • Rachel Jean December 26, 2016

      I am curious, Anonymous, why you say people have taken advantage of you. Have you never taken advantage of your abilities, yourself? Why do you consider this world hell? As you say, this is your life, so I’m just curious.

  • Kim December 25, 2016

    Just graduated university and this post could not have resonated with me more, especially the travelling.

  • Hannah December 23, 2016

    Definetly number two for me… It’s really hard to not compare myself to others who are older than me, or even the same age as me.but we all have different priorities, challenges, and obstacles to overcome. love these 10 goals so much!!


  • Elli December 23, 2016

    Number 6 – so much number 6. I studied abroad twice in college, and now I’m facing the reality of a 9-5 job with two weeks of vacation. Day-trips and weekends away help me hit that refresh button and satisfy my restlessness. In the meantime, I’m still saving up for a ticket that will take me more than a town or two away. Thanks for the lovely read.

  • Jessika December 23, 2016

    Thank you for these practical steps of fruitful perspectives! Here’s to 23 and not having everything figured out! Life is a beautiful journey and everything has its season!

  • Victoria Kirton December 22, 2016
  • Amy December 20, 2016

    I just graduated college and I related to this so sincerely. Thanks for this post and your voice!

  • Hollie December 20, 2016

    Absolutely number 8! Great, great post, thank you!

  • Brooke December 20, 2016

    Even if you do have your own goals these are a great reminder of others you also contemplate or incorporate. I’ve been working on #9 as of late and am really enjoying it!

  • Gemma December 20, 2016

    What a fabulous mentality. Everyone, at all stages of their lives, can take something from this list.


  • Anonymous December 20, 2016

    Love this!

  • Alyssa J Freitas December 20, 2016

    “Love those around you where you are right now” As I’m getting ready to graduate in the Spring I can feel myself holding back on investing further in relationships because of my fear that after we toss our caps in the air we will no longer be part of each other’s lives. While that may be true, it is important to love fully now because simply attempting to protect my heart for the future negates the beauty and essential nature of the present. I can only live in this current moment so why not love to the fullest?

  • This post was right on! The title caught my eye right away because that’s me right now – I don’t know what I’m doing! Out of these goals, I need to embrace number 10. My emotions control me all the time, I need to switch it around asap.

    Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog