I’ve known some amazing women during my short time on earth; total knockout beauties, marathon runners, artists, writers, incredible mothers, gourmet chefs, comedians… you name it. And let me tell you, these women have inspired me to my very core. However, being surrounded by such beauty, such talent, and such goodness—it can sometimes be really tough on a girl. As women, we tend to indulge in the awful and extremely damaging habit of comparing ourselves against one another. We often measure our worth by examining at how we stack up against our peers. We live in constant fear that someone is going to come along who is “better” than us. We are afraid that they might be smarter than us, prettier than us, thinner than us, funnier than us, more stylish than us, and so on and so forth.
I remember an observation I made while having a conversation with a girlfriend in college. We were sitting at a table in the middle of campus surrounded by people. I found that I could tell just by looking at her face whether it was a man or a woman standing behind me. If it were a man she would look much more relaxed. She would smile and laugh freely, sitting up a bit taller. If it were a woman behind me, however, her smile would fade as she pursed her lips. Her eyebrows would raise and her eyes would slowly move up and down, completely scoping out the girl behind me. There is no other way of saying it, she was checking out the “competition.” She was measuring herself against these girls that she didn’t even know! And then I realized that I knew what she was doing because it hit a little too close to home. It was a behavior that was all too familiar to me.
Why do we do this as women, as humans? Why do we feel this need to compare? It’s certainly not the way that we were created to interact and be in relationship with one another. I have found the hard way that when you compare yourself to others you will
never feel as though you measure up. You’ll never feel as though you are “enough,” and that’s the biggest lie you could ever believe because you are enough. You are more than enough just the way you are right now.
How do we combat this dangerous cycle? We must choose grace. We must choose to take it easy on one another, and to be kind to other women. We must choose to believe that we have something to offer this world than no one else can. You have something inside of you that is so unique and so good. Next time you are tempted to compare yourself to someone else, look deep inside of yourself. Explore and find out what it is that makes you different, what it is that makes you feel special and beautiful and whole. Take hold of whatever it is you find and don’t ever let it go. Draw upon it whenever you are feeling like you aren’t enough. Let it shine and glow though you.
If you are a painter, paint. If you are a writer, write. If you are a lover, love. Don’t worry about whether or not someone else can do it better than you. No one else can be you, and you were created in the image of a perfect creator. Don’t allow comparison to rob you of your uniqueness, your imagination, your light and your joy.
Image via That Kind Of Woman