The Lies My Depression Told Me

Major depressive disorder affects approximately 14.8 million American adults, or about 6.7 percent of the U.S. population, age 18 and older in a given year.

I want to share some of the lies depression told me. I believe that clinical depression is a complex medical issue. It’s like an onion with many layers and each layer needs to be tended to, nourished and addressed. Those layers can be physiological, spiritual, emotional, relational, hormonal, environmental, circumstantial or all over the above. For me, depression was all of these things, making it a deadly storm.

Depression is a liar and if you or someone you love is living with it, it’s crucial that you are able to pinpoint the negative beliefs it pushes on you. This will help you rise above this insidious illness.

Here are five of the lies depression has told me:

1. The world was better off without me.

At my worst, I believed this to the core. It’s hard to imagine, but I really did believe my friends and family would be better off without me. Today, I believe the world is more beautiful with me in it. Medication, counseling, support from my loved ones, and my faith all helped heal the depression I was experiencing. In time, I realized how irreplaceable my presence in this world is.

2. I didn’t have depression – I was just a horrible person who deserved to suffer.

The self-blame that comes with severe depression is debilitating. You become the world’s most terrible person and you believe you are no longer deserving of good and lovely things. The truth is that clinical depression is an illness, and accepting that it is treatable condition puts you on the path towards greater wellness.

ocean waves

Image via Allie Jeffers

3. That there was no light at the end of the tunnel.

Throughout my hospitalizations, my mom and other people would repeatedly say, “There is light at the end of the tunnel.” For me, the idea that there was even an ounce of hope was unimaginable. But the reality is that they were right; I have seen many sunny days since.

4. That I was irredeemably flawed.

Depression made me believe I was flawed beyond repair and that I was a lost cause. Hope told me otherwise.

5. That my depression was my fault.

Every time I’ve been severely depressed I placed 100% of the blame on myself. I just couldn’t accept that it was a chemical imbalance and that it was out of my control. I found it hard to believe that it was a chaos of chemical imbalances or a medical issue which I didn’t have control over.

Mental health battles are not sprints, they are marathons. Getting victory requires steadfastness, patience and endurance. Therapy and medication can be two powerful tools. Additionally, training our mind to focus on what is good and true is an essential key to wellness. Pinpointing the lies depression tells you can ultimately help you rediscover what is true and empower you to experience greater power over your depression.

No matter how many lies depressions speaks to you, be committed to telling it more truths and always remember that hope is alive.

Have you ever struggled with clinical depression? What are the lies your depression told you?

Feature Image via Alex Ry

Allie is a writer, dreamer, and kooky surfer-girl/wannabe cowgirl who lives in North Santa Barbara County. She serves as the Founder and Director of Wonderfully Made, a non-profit dedicated to helping young women know their value and worth.

  • Jenna June 30, 2017

    Thank you for sharing…being able to identify with all of your thoughts helps me understand the precarious nature of where I really am right now.

  • Angie June 17, 2017

    I can relate to some point. But hope is still a strange thing for me.

  • Iona June 13, 2017

    Thank you for posting this! As I work through my own issues with depression, I find writing to be the most helpful and healing process.

  • Amy June 12, 2017

    Depression is a personal hell where everything you fear about yourself is within reason. Send-deprecating thoughts scream at you and you deal with an invasion of feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness. I have been dealing with recurring depression for over 3 years. Thankfully, after hospitalization, I have found treatment plan that works for me. Thank you so much for this post, and if you are struggling with this mental illness please reach out for help. You deserve the chance to see your life through by giving yourself your best chance.

  • The pink pineapple June 11, 2017

    Great post
    The Pink Pineapple
    New post:

  • I’ve never suffered from depression, but wow, I can’t imagine how it must feel like for you. I have pretty bad days and thinking about having those bad days every day… it’s overwhelming. I’m very glad you’re better now and know that what your depression told you were lies.

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