No Place for Paper Men

A man is not a mystery. A relationship is.

To understand what makes a man, you need to know what makes a relationship. Otherwise, one will never exist. A relationship is something fashioned by two entities, two parties, two people, coming together to make something wholly new that has never existed before. A relationship, therefore, cannot exist independently from the pieces that make it up–similar to how a flame cannot exist separate from a candle and a match.

And yet, isn’t this how we treat them? We view relationships as if they are a universal entity all their own: something to be gained, something to be prized, and something to be worshipped. With the crayons of societal stereotypes and selfish pleasures, we sketch in our minds what we want a relationship to be and then go in search of the perfect paper man to draw it out on.

Is that really how it works?

Is the beauty of a painting locked solely in an artist’s mind? No. A masterpiece is seen through the blending of canvas and brush: the two coming together, the two becoming one, the paper to compliment the paint in creating a work of art that has previously never been.

So for us women, as we pine away and yearn for the day an engagement ring finally graces our hand, perhaps we first need to realize what it is a diamond ring truly represents. Made of metal, something strong and able, but not overbearing, the band in an act of quiet protection delicately lifts up its radiant prize to be gazed upon and cherished. The diamond–a hard, natural material in and of itself–is in no means forcing its strength upon the band, but is instead able to freely reflect and refract the light through the support the band gives it.

It is, in fact, a relationship.

We are, in fact, jewels. And perhaps more so than jewels, we are women. We are uniquely strong, uniquely radiant, and uniquely have ways we need to be supported and protected. A man doesn’t make us what we are, but because of what we are a man enables us to become something more beautiful. In turn, we enable a man to do the same. Together, in relationship, we make a picture of service and support, strength and beauty, security and freedom.

Man and woman.

 

Photo Credit: awelltraveledwoman.tumblr.com

Working behind the screen as a freelance writer and Darling's Director of Digital Content, Ziza lives between Nashville and Los Angeles with her husband and two lovable (yet laughably big) canines. She believes in being an intentional friend, a spontaneous traveler and, most importantly, a passionate pursuer of that which is true and good.

1 COMMENT
  • Ashley February 27, 2014

    This is a lovely piece. It reminds me of a video I was watching where Marianne Williamson was talking about how men, with their soft and kind way, have an opportunity to yoke the greatest potential out of women by simply listening to them, wholeheartedly.

    And I like how you include service as something fostered between two. This is good!

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