Category Archives: The Intellectual

Darling Book Club: May

by

Darling Book Club: May | Darling Magazine

From lingering daylight to forecasts touting warmer weather, spring has not only sprung, but summer is soon upon us. May is the month many believe was termed for Maia, the Greek goddess of fertility, while the Roman poet Ovid insisted the fifth month was named for maiores, Latin for “elders.” Regardless of the true namesake, we’d like to recommend a book this month that commemorates both inspirations.

Memoirs, especially those authored by individuals willing to step out of their comfort zones, provide a unique opportunity to intimately engage with another time and place. Jennifer Worth’s “Call the Midwife: A Memoir of Birth, Joy and Hard Times” introduces us to London’s East End slums in the postwar era of the early 1950′s. Jennifer (Nurse Lee) graciously grants us passage into many of the trying, joyous and unforgettable moments during her tenure as a novice midwife working amongst the Sisters of St. Raymond Nonnatus.

“Now and then in life, love catches you unawares, illuminating the dark corners of your mind, and filling them with radiance. Once in a while, you are faced with a beauty and a joy that takes your soul, all unprepared, by assault.”

Teeming with charming characters (from both the convent and the families of the East End), adversity and purest joy, “The Midwife” should remind us that our greatest pains are often precursors to both our highest moments and wildest adventures.

*If you’re wondering whether the topic sounds familiar, the trilogy (presented as one book, combining all three individual books here) has been made into a television series on PBS called “Call the Midwife” which seems to be gaining more fans by the moment (myself included!). Prior to the PBS show, the book was titled “The Midwife: A Memoir of Birth Joy, and Hard Times” for those confused by seeing both titles.

Darling Book Club: May | Darling Magazine

The Book:
“Call the Midwife: A Memoir of Birth, Joy, and Hard Times”

The Author:
Jennifer Worth

Book Ratings:
4.17 out of 5 stars on Good Reads, based on 1,141 reviews
4.5 out of 5 stars on Amazon, based on 385 reviews

Where To Find It:
Here in Paperback on Amazon
Here for your Kindle
Here for your Nook

 

Image via Becoming Roux

In Other Words: Petrichor

by

In Other Words: Petrichor | Darling Magazine

Word every Darling should know: Petrichor

Why this word: Ever wonder what we miss when we’re simply too busy to notice? How about the taste of the sun’s warmth when biting into a perfectly ripe peach, or the feeling of silk on your skin, or the sound of complete, utter silence, or the range of colors seen during a sunrise or sunset? Petrichor just happens to be the pleasant smell outside after it rains. Much like perfume, there is a science behind this lovely scent. Nature provides a complicated mixture of at least fifty different compounds created by the oily essences emitted from rocks and soils, each unique in its own right. From this complicated mixture comes petrichor. This gives me hope that I’m not imagining things when I am awakened from a deep sleep by the smell of snow moments before it begins falling from the sky.

As an added bonus, Ammon Shea, the author of Reading the OED (yes, he read through the whole of the Oxford English Dictionary!) cited petrichor as one of his favorite words.

Definition: petrichor (noun) pronunciation: pet-ri-kuhr

1. The pleasant smell outside after it rains

Use this word in a sentence: The air was ripe with the pleasant, dewy petrichor of the post-rain afternoon.

Have you been using our previously featured words?

Fruition: Attainment of anything desired.
Ubiquitous: Existing or being everywhere.
Meraki: To do something with soul, creativity or love.

Photo by Lacey Marie Photography, via Pinterest

Grown Up May Day Celebrations

by

Grown Up May Day | Darling Magazine

There were approximately 50 steps to the front door of my crush’s house. I scanned for the doorbell as I tiptoed up the stairs, planning my exit strategy. “I’ll meet you around the block,” my mom had said when she dropped me off two houses down.

My heart tap-danced against my chest. Mustering up as much stealth as possible, I set down a plastic cup, overflowing with treats, with my crush’s name stickered across the front beneath a sparkly pipe-cleaner handle. A few other makeshift baskets, filled with similar fare, sat uncollected on the welcome mat—a good sign. The doorbell glowed orange even in the sunlight. Dismissing the care with which I’d placed the basket I punched the bell and bolted, hurdling a flowerbed and cutting across the neighbor’s backyard and into the open door of my mom’s SUV. Safe.

Where I grew up, we celebrated May Day. Every year on May 1st, we commemorated our friendships and the promise of warmer weather with May Baskets, handmade baskets of treats we delivered to friends’ doorsteps as soon as school dismissed. Folklore had it that if you got caught leaving your gift, you’d suffer a kiss or a pinch from the other person. Though the festivities fizzled out once we arrived at middle school, May Day remains one of my fondest memories growing up. The exchange of simple but thoughtful gifts between friends (and at that age, the allure of competition) brought a certain joy that is often lost in the rush of our adult lives—the joy of showing and feeling appreciation.

May Day has a beautifully storied history. The holiday originated from pagan festivals honoring Flora, the Roman goddess of flowers, and Walpurgis Night, a traditional spring festival in Europe’s Germanic countries often observed with bonfires and dancing. As centuries progressed, the holiday lost its pagan affiliations and evolved into a commemoration of the spring or summer seasons, filled with festivities like Morris dancing, singing and weaving ribbons around a Maypole. While some traditions have waned, the day is still considered a national holiday in many European countries and continues to be commemorated with sunrise madrigal singing, breakfast barbecues, flowers and Walpurgis Night celebrations held the prior evening.

As we look forward to long summer days and upcoming beach vacations, May Day is the perfect time to partake in the enchantment of a unique cultural practice as well as demonstrate gratefulness for our closest friends. Use the holiday as a reason to put together a vibrant spring barbecue with friends or to wake up early and watch the sunrise with a loved one, coffee in hand. Or, capitalize on the opportunity to surprise those closest to you with a sweet gift, just because. Here are four ideas for “grown-up” May Baskets your friends will love—no ding-dong-ditch required.

A collection of home-baked treats. Make your favorite springtime sweets and package them in a thoughtfully updated May Basket, like these adorable chevron cookie bags from Etsy.

Fresh flowers. Gather up small bouquets of seasonal flowers at your local farmer’s market and arrange them in antique tin cans to hang on your friends’ doorknobs. I love Martha Stewart’s whimsical interpretation and DIY instructions here.

Handmade bags of loose leaf tea. Emily Schuman of Cupcakes and Cashmere featured a lovely Valentine’s Day gift idea that showed how to put together DIY Valentine’s tea bags decorated with a small, heart-shaped note. Update the idea for May Day with pretty pastel colors and a flower cutout, and learn how to make them here.

A handwritten note. This simple but lovely gesture never fails to inspire in our email and social media-filled days. Find beautifully colored cardstock in bulk in stationery stores like Paper Source and leave a note somewhere your friend will stumble upon later in her day.

Photo by Morgan Johnson

Learning To Watch What We Watch

by

Learning To Watch What We Watch | Darling Magazine

From thrillers to comedies, from documentaries to reality TV, the options we have available to access on our screens anytime, anywhere is virtually limitless. Many praise these technological advances and marvel at the immediate gratification available to each of us with a click of a button. While there are many benefits to this digital age, is it possible that we are getting more than we bargained for? With so many options available to us at all times, there are many reasons to guard our hearts and minds by watching what we watch.

Desensitization
Most of us can probably recall our first PG-13 or R-rated movie if we reach back through our adolescent memories. This is likely not because the movie was particularly memorable (no offense to Titanic), but rather because of the “shock factor.” Whether it was because we were watching a film or show forbidden by our parents or because the content was riskier or racier than we had experienced before, there was likely an element of shock associated with the experience. As time goes on, we are less impacted by what would have shocked us back then. The more we watch, the more we become desensitized. Thus, it is important that we choose what we watch carefully in order to avoid this addictive shock that can lead to viewing downright destructive scenes on the screen.

Stunted Creativity
Not only is it important to censor the content of what we watch, but we must also be careful about the amount of time we spend staring at the screen. While there is nothing wrong with unwinding with our favorite flick or series, we might be surprised at what we lose if we spend too much time in front of the TV. Each of us only has 24 hours in the day and spending too much time watching other stories play out, keeps us from living our own creative story. When we are overly engrossed in the stories on the screen, we may be missing out on crucial opportunities in our own life story.

A Depressed Well-Being
Just like the company we keep, we cannot help but be impacted mentally and emotionally by what we take in. TV and film tend to depict dysfunctional events and relationships in ways that can leave us feeling slimed and down. While engaging in noteworthy films and series can be an enjoyable hobby, too much of a good thing does not always leave us feeling good.

Promotes Isolation
Too much time zoned out in front of the screen can keep us from engaging in the relationships that matter most…the ones in real life! Even if we are watching a movie or show in a group or with our significant other, too much time in front of the screen keeps us from enjoying dynamic conversation with our loved ones. Thus it is best to reserve our screen time with others for times when we can make the movie or TV show a social event, whether it be a gathering with girlfriends or having a movie night with your significant other. Don’t forget the snacks and games so there are plenty of opportunities to engage in conversation!

A Poor Model
Media rarely gives us healthy models to follow when it comes to relationships. A lack of censorship when it comes to what we watch and how much time we spend watching those movies and shows can impact the way we treat people in our own lives. While we are all aware of how to deal with conflict and approach relationships healthfully, these strategies will be difficult to recall in the moment if we surround ourselves with constant models for destructive interaction.

Television and movies can be a thrilling and relaxing pastime and offer a fun way to engage with our friends in family in intriguing conversation. This article certainly does not seek to label TV as “all bad” or “all good,” but merely aims to encourage each of us to look inward and discern our limits when it comes to what we choose to fill our minds and hearts with and take a look at how we might spend our time in a more balanced way.

Darling Book Club: April

by

Darling Book Club: April | Darling Magazine

“It would take a deeply cynical heart not to fall in love with Rainer Maria Rilke’s Letters to a Young Poet,” claims Amazon book reviewer Jennifer Buckendorff. Rainer Maria Rilke is considered one of the greatest poets who ever wrote in the German language. His most famous works are Sonnets to Orpheus, The Duino Elegies, Letters to a Young Poet, and The Notebooks of Malte Laurids Brigge. His collected work is comprised of hundreds of other poems, essays, plays, and stories. In 1903, Rilke wrote 10 sweepingly emotional letters, addressing a former student of one of his own teachers, producing what Buckendorff calls “the one-on-one equivalent of the modern writing workshop.”

The letters are produced in some of the world’s most romantic cities such as Paris, Rome and the outskirts of Pisa, giving both his subject (and the reader) a detailed preface of the physical landscape he writes from.

“Go into yourself and test the deeps in which your life takes rise; at its source you will find the answer to the question whether you must create. Accept it, just as it sounds, without inquiring into it. Perhaps it will turn out that you are called to be an artist. Then take that destiny upon yourself and bear it, its burden and its greatness, without ever asking what recompense might come from outside.” (Excerpt from Letters to a Young Poet)

Whether you’re an aspiring poet, artist, or just a lover of esteemed insight, Rilke’s Letters to a Young Poet will leave you inspired and appreciative of the beauty within and around us.

Darling Book Club: April | Darling Magazine

The Book:
Letters to a Young Poet

The Author:
Rainer Maria Rilke

Book Ratings:
4.35 out of 5 stars on Good Reads, based on 12,272 reviews
4.5 out of 5 stars on Amazon, based on 42 reviews

Where To Find It:
- Here in Paperback on Amazon
- Here for your Kindle
- Here for your Nook

Darling Book Club: March

by

Darling Book Club: March | Darling Magazine

If there was one novel in the last few years that I found impossible to put down, it would be the tale of Louis Zamperini. “Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience and Redemption” by Laura Hillenbrand reminds us that the most beloved characters in literature are often those who have lived and breathed on this earth, while the best stories come from the varied and unique lives they’ve lived. Only the second book Ms. Hillenbrand has written (her first stab at authorship was no small success with a little story called “Seabiscuit”), “Unbroken” is a beautifully written account of an extraordinary life.

From the New York Times:

The ideal way to read ‘Unbroken’ would be with absolutely no knowledge of how Mr. Zamperini’s life unfolded. Ms. Hillenbrand has written her book so breathlessly, and with such tight focus, that she makes it difficult to guess what will happen to him from one moment to the next, let alone how long he [will be] able to survive under extreme duress. But blinders are for horses, not for readers of ‘Unbroken.’ So we must acknowledge the good news that Mr. Zamperini is now a snappy 93, and better able to promote this book than its author (who is often sidelined by her chronic fatigue syndrome).

Do not be intimidated by its 473 pagecount. If you are a fan of great prose and compelling real-life events (think USC track and field star is lost at sea for 47 days only to become a POW as soon as he drifts ashore), this book is a must-read, pick up this book immediately, Darling.

Darling Book Club: March | Darling Magazine

The Book:
Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience and Redemption

The Author:
Laura Hillenbrand

Book Ratings:
4.5 out of 5 stars on Good Reads, based on 112,733 reviews
4.5 out of 5 stars on Amazon, based on 3,851 reviews

Where to find it:
-Here in Paperback on Amazon.
-Here for your Kindle.
-Here for you Nook.

 

Image via J.Crew and Cappuccinos

Darling Book Club: February

by

Darling Book Club: February | Darling Magazine

Happy February, Darling book lovers!

This month for the Darling Book Club, we’ve chosen an incredible modern classic for you. There is probably nothing better than getting lost in a good story and Amy Tan is one of the greatest creative minds of this century. Check out her TED TALK on the creative process here, if you’re so inclined.

The Joy Luck Club is not only a best-selling novel, but also required reading for many in high school and was made into a full-length motion picture in 1993. It’s an intriguing story of family, relationships, tradition and expectations. We hope you enjoy this book as much as we (and many of our mothers) have.

The story surrounds four mothers and four daughters whose histories shift with the four winds depending on who’s “telling” the stories. In 1949 four Chinese women, recent immigrants to San Francisco, begin meeting to

eat dim sum, play Mahjong and talk. United in shared unspeakable loss and hope, they deem themselves the Joy Luck Club. Rather than sink into tragedy, they choose to gather to raise their spirits and money. Forty years later, the stories and history of the women continue through their relationships with their daughters and each other.

With wit and sensitivity, Amy Tan examines the sometimes painful, often tender and always deep connection between mothers and daughters. As each woman reveals her secrets, trying to unravel the truth about her life, the strings become more tangled, more entwined.

Good “luck” this month if you choose to read and let us know your thoughts!

Darling Book Club: February | Darling Magazine

The Book
The Joy Luck Club

The Author
Amy Tan

Book Ratings
- 3.8 out of 5 stars on Good Reads, based on 327,334 ratings
- 4 out of 5 stars on Amazon based on 540 reviews

Where to find it
- Here in paperback on Amazon.
- Here for your Kindle.
- Here for your Nook.

 

Image via Deviant Art

Curing the Deadly Disease of Online Envy

by

Curing The Deadly Disease Of Online Envy | Darling Magazine

It seems like just about everyone is taking center stage to engage the social world for lighthearted cyber play. After all, Facebook alone has more than one billion users—one seventh of the earth’s population! Twitter, MySpace, Blogger and Instagram are a few other popular platforms that have skyrocketed online communication…and for the better, right?

For someone like me with family and friends overseas, social networks provide a medium to swap photos and share status stories without a great deal of effort. And although society celebrates the likes of Facebook, in the same breath social media also comes under much criticism: it wastes our time, invades our privacy, and creates narcissistic people. Haven’t we all read countless articles reporting the negative effects of social media, both on individuals and society? We even hear murmurings suggesting that browsing social networks can bring out the green in some of us—fueling negative emotions of jealousy and envy.

In fact, an experiment at Stanford University yielded results revealing that some students felt worse when they thought their friends were having more fun than they were. Additionally, another study discovered that those who battle with envy in the context of social media typically tend to be the same individuals who struggle with measuring themselves to their peers in their day-to-day life.

What about you? Do you spend more time envying the lives of friends on Facebook, or enjoying your own life journey?

If you are allowing these glimpses of others’ cyber existences to get you down, or if you get agitated when someone posts a celebratory status or a photo album highlighting an exotic vacation, it’s possible that you have acquired the key killer of joy: envy. Fortunately, once you’ve self-diagnosed, you can stop blaming the things that contribute to symptoms of envy or jealousy, and take a deeper look at the root cause of your suffering.

Let’s quickly look at what we’re dealing with. Envy is a negative emotion produced by the awareness of the advantage, good fortune or prosperity of others; it can stem from insecurities that negatively affect our perceptions and self-esteem. Envy has enormous potential to cause other conditions: resentment, jealousy, anger, ill will, depression, and bitterness— just to name a few. And what is the eventual prognosis? Discontentment and dissatisfaction, which manifest either towards ourselves or others.

Is there a cure? Certainly, yes! To a large extent, the burden will fall on us to control unconstructive thinking and negative emotions. When you find social media envy creeping up on you, remember Darling’s six C’s to treat online resentments:

1. Compare ourselves to no one. Measuring our good looks, character, brains and achievements to someone else will only prove to be one thing—futile!

2. Don’t Compete. Rivalry with friends, family, or other women will only end in frustration.

3. End Criticism. Criticizing others simply serves to elevate ourselves and thus reveal our own insecurity. Be respectful of the opinions, choices and differences of others. Everyone is entitled to her own opinion, and this doesn’t mean you have to “like” it, agree with it, or for that matter comment on it at all.

4. Beware Covetousness. There will always be someone who seemingly has more or better than us. Celebrate the happiness, acquisitions and accomplishments of others— and of other women especially! Take every opportunity to give positive feedback, or show support. True friends openly express joy for the good fortune of each other.

5. Stop Conjecturing. Avoid judging others or making assumptions based on social media posts. We really don’t know the thoughts and motives of others, and we should not draw conclusions derived from frivolous online chatter. Let’s face it— our interpretation will not always be correct. Try to assume the best in others, rather than the worst.

6. Choose Contentment. To ward off envy, one of the finest remedies is to appreciate and show gratitude for what we do have.

Two things seem clear to me: social media does not create jealous, spiteful, or envious people; but rather, jealousy can be exacerbated by social media. And, when feelings of discontent or resentment are aroused by someone else’s good luck, how we react is up to us!

So the next time you sign-in, be reminded: we can chose to free ourselves from the negative effects of envy. We do this by choosing to be grateful, recognizing our own

value, and by rejoicing with others!

“It is in the character of very few men to honor without envy a friend who has prospered.” -Aeschylus

Darling, what is the art of being a woman? It begins with celebrating the achievements, joys and blessings of others.

Image via Vanessa Jackman