Category Archives: The Hostess

Say (Blue) Cheese

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Say (Blue) Cheese | Darling Magazine

Confession number one: I love to cook, and I absolutely love to eat, but I almost never use a recipe. Most of the time this works for me; sometimes it doesn’t. Let’s move on to confession number two: I can tell you how to heat almost anything using only the popcorn setting on your microwave.

Perhaps one day I will grieve all the possibilities—the oodles of cookbooks unopened on the shelf; all the delicious recipes I could have, and should have tried to recreate. But life is not about focusing on regrets, so allow me share some super-quick and appetizing ideas using something I always have on hand in my fridge and cupboard for a fast tasty dish: blue-cheese salad dressing.

I stumbled upon this first recipe below for lack of anything interesting to add to a dish of naked oven-baked chicken pieces. I’m guessing that this recipe must exist somewhere out there—but if so, I wouldn’t know. This little secret recipe is one I share with my friends often. And it was this recipe that spurred on many other blue-cheese dressing creations in my kitchen. Plus it remains my favourite of the bunch:

Roasted Chicken pieces with Blue Cheese Dressing

  • Bake cut chicken pieces in on a cookie sheet, or flat roasting dish. (Optional: coat chicken pieces with BBQ sauce or your favourite hot sauce).
  • Remove cooked chicken dish about 10 minutes before it’s ready to come out of the oven.
  • Drizzle cold blue-cheese salad dressing (yes, straight from the bottle) generously on top of the chicken pieces.
  • Grill for about 10 minutes (or until cheesy dressing has thickened and browned slightly).
  • If the chicken has not been coated or baked with any of the optional sauces, this dish is nicely complimented with a dash of paprika on top of the blue-cheese sauce and a sprinkle of freshly ground pepper—then plate it up!

Note: you can prepare chicken wings, boneless and skinless chicken breasts, or boned chicken pieces in this same way. Or for a delicious BBQ recipe, transfer BBQ’d chicken pieces onto a sheet of foil before the final 10 minutes of grilling. Place chicken back onto the BBQ with the foil open (it simply serves to catch all the drips as the sauce heats up) and add blue cheese dressing. Once the sauce has heated and browned, remove from the BBQ and serve.

In my house, blue cheese dressing also proves to be a one-step wonder when heated and served on pasta. Here’s an easy way to serve fettuccini for last minute dinner guest:

Blue Fettuccini

  • Boil fettuccine noodles in pot of boiling water following the package instructions.
  • While the noodles are cooking, heat about 4 tablespoons of extra virgin olive oil in a saucepan on medium heat. Add any of the following: crushed garlic, chopped onion or chives, chopped tomatoes.
  • Once onions are browned or Tomatoes are softened, add your blue cheese salad dressing (depending on how many servings you require, you may want to pour in the whole bottle). I usually do!
  • Simmer sauce until the noodles are strained and dished up. Add onto the pasta. Serve with garlic bread or salad, and eat up! It’s oh-so-easy and oh-so-yummy!

If you aren’t a fan of blue cheese, perhaps because you find the taste too strong, be encouraged to know that when cooked, blue cheese dressing loses a lot of zing. It makes for a full-body but mild-tasting cheesy sauce. Besides, you can select a dressing that you like the most!

Heated blue cheese dressing can be substituted in endless recipes that require a creamy or cheesy warm white sauce. Other dishes I cook, using my stinky secret weapon:

  • Rice casserole dishes
  • Baked potatoes or boiled broccoli/cauliflower with heated blue cheese dressing on top
  • Tuna casserole

Here’s what you can do: Buy blue cheese dressing the next time you shop for groceries. Wait until you’re panicked to cook something up really fast, and then give it a try! Bon appétit!

Image via Portrait of a Tomato

Embracing Our Inner Imperfect Hostess

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Embracing Our Inner Imperfect Hostess | Darling Magazine

I never realized that I was a clean freak until I had a baby.

A clean house was the first thing to go once our son was born, right after long showers and seven consecutive hours of sleep each night. Somewhere in the midst of sleep deprivation and projectile vomiting (the baby, not me), I stopped caring about beautifully made beds and perfectly polished sink faucets.

It was a slow process, that releasing of cleanliness and order. I started making the bed a few times a week instead of every day, and sometimes I even went to sleep with dishes in the sink. I allowed dust to collect on the shelves in our bedroom and laundry to pile high on top of the washing machine.

Gradually, little by little and day by day, I let go of something else.

Our house became more lived in, more relatable, more us. There were signs of life everywhere—from burp cloths on the coffee table to sleep training books carelessly tossed aside on the couch. The kitchen counter was often covered in a mixture of toast crumbs and droplets of pureed banana, sticky remnants that had fallen off the spoon during transition from blender to baby bowl.

People lived in our house—and for the first time—it appeared that way. There were marks of three lives in every single room: momma, daddy, and baby.

I started to embrace it, that letting go of cleanliness and order. I felt freedom in not washing a dish three seconds after I finished using it. I found liberty in smudge marks on the mirror and lint on top of the dresser.

I found freedom in the imperfections, in the dust, in the puffs between couch cushions.

That is, until, it was my turn to host a women’s group a few weeks ago. Suddenly freedom meant nothing to me as I morphed back into Monica Geller, frantically running around the house at 5:00pm, throwing magazines into drawers and tossing baby toys out of sight. I called my husband in frustration as I wiped kale from my baby’s forehead, exasperated that I was home alone taking care of a baby while I needed to clean for company. He came home with tacos for dinner and store bought cookies for me to serve, bless his heart, while I quickly attacked the kitchen with Clorox. I inhaled my share of the tacos and quickly discarded the evidence, lest anyone think I had actually eaten dinner at the kitchen table.

Twenty minutes later the house was ready and everything looked perfect. Well, everything except for me—I was a hot, sweaty mess. As I looked around the impeccably clean living room seconds before my friends arrived, I felt anything but pride. I felt pathetic.

These friends are the last people on earth who would judge a dirty house. These are my close friends, the ones who visited me in the hospital after my son was born and saw me in a bathing suit eight weeks after giving birth. We know intimate details about each other’s lives and share everything from maternity clothes and Kindles to baby gates and crock pot recipes. Of all the people, of all the potential guests to host, they would be the very last to expect perfection from me.

Yet, attempted perfection is my go-to, my instinct, what I know best.

So often our impulse when hosting people in our homes is to remove every crumb from the premises, straighten every picture frame, and shine every surface. While it’s sometimes easy to let go behind closed doors, many of us still struggle to release perfection when the doors are open. That’s a harder challenge and a bigger battle, one that can go against all of our instincts.

If you’re struggling to embrace your inner imperfect hostess, here are some things to keep in mind:

1. Fostering community is more important than presenting a clean house. What matters more: the depth of conversations around your table, or the sparkle of your stove? Keeping this simple reminder in check can be powerful.

2. When you invite people into your home, into your mess, you become transparent in a good way. Transparency leads to vulnerability, and vulnerability leads to trust. The most solid friendships in life are founded on trust, not vacuumed carpets.

3. Spontaneity can lead to the best gatherings. It’s easy to set up dinner invitations a week in advance when you know you can clean ahead of time. Inviting a friend over for an impromptu get together can be less formal, more relaxed, and often times, surprisingly more fun.

4. When you give yourself permission to let go of perfection, you invite others to do the same. When you invite people into your less-than-perfect home, you encourage them to offer the same gift back to you.

Hopefully with these things in mind, we can gradually, little by little, continue to let go of something else, eventually freeing ourselves to embrace the real life mess that accompanies this real life we are living.

In what areas of your life—when hosting or otherwise—are you learning to let go of perfection?

In My Toolbox: Must-Haves For The DIY Girl, Part II

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In My Toolbox: Must-Haves For The DIY Girl, Part II | Darling Magazine

This is continued from In My Toolbox: Must-Haves For The DIY Girl…

Looking at your toolbox, you may be realizing that the extent of your handy-woman tools includes one mighty hammer that has seen you through and through. If that’s the case, good for you. Every diy girl started somewhere. You may also be realizing that the projects you have been saving up for a sunny day require a few more necessities to get the job done. Here is a continued breakdown of the must haves for your building up your darling toolbox…

Level
The name says it all. Levels come in many different sizes but a 6”-12” works for almost everything. Say goodbye to crooked shelves, disheveled frames, and topsy turvy wall hangings. Bonus feature, some are magnetic!

Tape Measure
A 10′-30′ will suit most projects. Make sure it is in inches and not meters (unless you intend to venture over to Europe for your projects, which maybe you are—lucky girl!). The LeverLock tape measure made by Stanley has wonderful testimony.

Square
Sometimes in life, things just don’t make sense. Calling a (sometimes) triangle shaped tool a square is one of those things. These are inexpensive and invaluable for making straight and square lines (Aha, hence, the name!)

Hang & Level
For those moments that you are needing to hang frames yet find yourself alone with the task, this handy tool is a wonderful multitasking life saver. The picture hanging tool is designed to mark where the nail goes without any holes or scratches that often come with the trial and error in hanging pictures “just so”. It works with all types of hanging hardware for both vertical and horizontal hanging frames.

Cordless Drill
Out of all the basics for your toolbox, this is probably the most expensive. A 9 volt or 12 volt will drill through most materials and work great for driving screws as well. This tool is worth the investment, especially if you foresee yourself becoming very DIY savvy. Drills are made by a long list of various manufacturers. Do a bit of research to find a drill that feels good in the hand and is not so heavy; find one that fits your size and strength.

Drill bits and Drivers
A simple set of eight to ten bits ranging from 1/16th inch to 3/8th inch is a great start. Add a simple set of screwdriver bits and your toolbox will be smiling.

The Do-It-Yourself Simple Guide to Paint

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The Do-It-Yourself Simple Guide to Paint | Darling Magazine

There was once a time when paint was nothing more than plant and flower pigments mixed with egg yolk, or milk mixed with colored pigments, then dried and left ready to be applied. Now, wander down the paint aisle in any hardware store when planning your next do-it-yourself project and be surrounded by the endless paint choices. Glossy, latex, enamels, oil based, water based, primers, cans of spray paint, and an equally large assortment of paint brushes hanging from ceiling to floor. And the colors! Hundreds of shades representing every inch of the color wheel, like simple white paint, are coined with clever names—navajo white, ancient ivory, frosting, cream fleece, ashwood, white heron, moonshine, linen, bone white. Where does one even begin?

When it comes to paint, one size does not fit all. Matching paint with material is essential—so before you hit the paint aisle, and lay out your drop cloth, ready to dip your brush and make a color transformation, here are a few simple things to consider about the endless options out there…

Primer
Primer is your base coat. It is what prepares your surface, giving it a solid foundation for the paint to follow. Primer and sand paper are your best friends when it comes to a revamp with paint. They insure that your surface’s previous flaws are hidden and covered. Primers are available for all surfaces—metals, bare wood, stained wood, plastic—just check to make sure it matches up!

Water-Based
Water-based paint is the favorite when it comes to easy clean-up and fast application. With two coats, your surface can be finished in a day. Water is the “solvent” in the paint mixture—solvent being the term for spreadability. The “binder” in water based paint (or what makes the paint stick to its surface) is acrylic, vinyl, or a mixture of both.

Oil-Based
Oil-based typically take longer to dry. It slowly flattens out, which in turn, hides brush marks much better than a quick drying paint. Oil-based paint is extremely durable in comparison to latex paints, with petroleum as the solvent. What makes oil based paints adhere to its surface are natural oils or resin. Unlike water-based, any clean up requires turpentine or mineral spirits, and the odor midst project is a bit more noticeable. Use oil based on already painted surfaces and primed walls for a rich look.

Gloss
This is the finish. From low to high, the gloss spectrum looks like this: flat, eggshell, satin, semi-gloss, and high gloss. Flat gloss is dull and hides imperfections where in contrast high gloss gives off shine, drawing attention to any flaws. Before settling with your paint finish, test it out. Dab a bit on a wooden surface and wait for it to dry—this is a sure way to make sure you like what you get!

Samples
You may be indecisive and unable to pick out a paint color for the life of you. Or you may just love a new hue each week, so you are constantly priming and painting everything in sight. So instead of buying paint, you go indulge in frozen yogurt because your flavor and toppings are, in fact, something you can make a decision on. Sound familiar? This is where sample sizes are completely brilliant. Choose a paint swatch, or two, or three, and for under three dollars each, you can walk away with paint samples. Samples do come as matte, so you will not be able to test your finish—but how wonderful to spend little and explore your color options! And myth be busted, paint samples go a lot further than they seem.

Surface Prepping
Another important part of painting is prepping your surface, before the primer and paint even enter the picture. For bare wood, sand until the surface is smooth. For pre-painted or sealed wood, clean with a non-residue cleaner, and roughen the surface with 150-grit sand paper, wiping clean before applying primer and paint—this will assure your new paint color stays put. For metal, remove any rust or flaking with a wire brush, then sand and rinse with water allowing the surface to air dry before applying your new coat or paint. Sand plastic surfaces lightly and wipe clean. Spray paint or acrylic works best on plastic. For fabric painting, wash and allow your material to air dry. Stretch your fabric out and lay flat before applying paint. Most paints “set” on fabric once you’ve sent them through the dryer—and be sure to use a water based paint with fabric!

Georgia O’Keeffe once said, “I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn’t say any other way.” May your painting endeavors be a way for you to express those things you can’t say with words—even if only through a few color hues. No matter your canvas—your kitchen wall, a thrifted dresser, or a set of upcycled chairs—may your coats of paint reflect new life and purpose for the things you put your paintbrush to.

In My Toolbox: Must-Haves For The DIY Girl

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In My Toolbox: Must-Haves For The DIY Girl

With warm weather and longer days finally here, visions of projects dance in our heads. The itch to get deep into DIY abounds—“But wait!,” you say, “ I don’t have all those fancy tools! I wouldn’t even know where to start.” Three words. You are mistaken. To complete the most simple to moderately involved DIY projects you only need a few basic tools. Having the right tool for any job keeps the task from becoming frustrating, taking more time than it should, and possibly ending up with something ruined. Think of an artist, a gardener, a cook—their craft requires the right tools, and the most basic if that, to be enjoyable and successful. In this series, we’ll explore those basic tools that any DIY girl would need—novice or expert—so that you can have a most successful handmade, make it from scratch, paint-the-town type of season.

Hammer
It is essential that every DIY gal has one of these (emphasis on essential). The most well-rounded choice would be a 12” curved claw nail hammer. One of these in your toolbox, and you are good to go! For the more rustic, you can choose a hammer with a wooden handle. For the more modern, you may opt for a metal handled hammer.

Pliers
When asking a turned city dweller: “Why didn’t you stay on the farm and be a farmer?” Their response makes case and point: “Every good farmer can fix anything with bailing wire and a pliers. I couldn’t.” That statement couldn’t be more true. For a lot of woodworking projects pliers won’t be used much, but having a standard and needle-nose pliers will get you places in life. The Craftsman set of both types from Sears, for example, are a great option.

Adjustable Wrench
Yet, another very handy tool. Get a 10” and never look back. This choice fits nearly any size nut or bolt with its adjustable spinning parts. And darling, you won’t regret it when you’ve mastered fixing your leaky sink sans plumber thanks to your handy wrench.

Screwdrivers
There are an abundance of types and sizes of screwdrivers, Phillips and Flathead being the most common. A good alternative to getting a full set of different screwdrivers is going with a ratcheting style screwdriver along with a set of interchangeable bits. A set like this can be found at any hardware store, like Harbor Freight. Along with a standard set, you may also need to get a set of very small screwdrivers separately for smaller screws.

Hex Keys
These are not as common and many times come with “build-it-yourself” furniture, eh-em Ikea. However, have you bought something preassembled or already built off Craigslist or thrifted and now it is loose and falling over? Tighten it up with the marvelous hex key. Many bit sets come with these included with them. If you purchase a bit set with a ratcheting style screwdriver, check to make sure it includes hex keys.

Making Your House A Home

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Making Your House A Home | Darling Magazine

I am a firm believer that our external environment informs our internal environment, and our internal environment informs our external environment. What I mean is, I believe that the our thoughts and emotions have an impact on the way we live in our surroundings and in turn, our surroundings have a profound impact on how we feel and think.

As a Marriage and Family Therapist, I spend a lot of time and energy thinking about how healing in our internal world impacts the way that we live. However, lately I have been realizing the importance of creating an environment that cultivates comfort, joy, and peace in order set ourselves up for feeling these emotions more often. For many of us as women, our homes are our creative domains—a blank canvas to reflect our personality, style, and story. But for some of us, it can be hard to know where to start toward creating an environment that serves as a safe haven—a place where you feel truly home.

Here are some tips to get you started…

Photographs
If you are anything like me, you love framed professional photography on a Pinterest-worthy gallery wall. While this design certainly looks nice, this concept can be costly and labor-intensive. Often our criteria is too high for the photos we are willing to frame. A standard of professional perfection can keep us from filling our home with snapshots of everyday life. Mixing your professional photos that capture those special occasions in life with more informal photos reflecting special memories is the perfect homey combination!

Cozy Textures
Have you ever had to remove all of the throw pillows before sitting on a couch or walked into a room and instantly felt as if you would break something if you sneezed? While we all love home accessories that are pretty to look at, we are wise to consider these items’ function and the purpose they serve in our lives. Items such as pillows and blankets should invite us to enjoy our home and not feel as if we have to avoid using or enjoying certain elements in our living space. Every space in your home should have textures that encourage comfort and conversation.

Decorative Function
It is possible for items in your home to be beautiful and functional. Try mixing items that are tied to memories with items that are pleasing to the eye while serving a function in your home. This strategy keeps the clutter down and ensures that the items in your home are meaningful and serve a purpose.

Decorate With All Five Senses
Often we thinking about decorating as purely visual—colors, textures, scale—but decorating can include the other four senses as well! Making your house feel like a home means giving yourself and others an invitation to come inside and enjoy and this can be accomplished in ways that go beyond the visual by employing the other four senses. Instead of focusing purely on the visual, try having candles lit in various rooms of the house with scents that inspire you, making it a routine to play your favorite music throughout the house, and having your favorite candy or fruit accessibly on display. This will ensure that you are enjoying your home in ways that go beyond what the eye can see.

Live Where You Live
Perhaps the most important element in making your house feel like a home is choosing to live where you live. Maybe you are renting and waiting patiently to buy a home or living in a temporary living situation where it is difficult to feel settled. Often when we aren’t living in our “forever home,” we fail to nest…we fail to see the point in making it our own. Often this can lead to being stressed and feeling in constant transition and thus we are wise to bloom where we are planted—no matter how long we see ourselves in our current situation.

While these ideas might be small, the impact of these small gestures can have a huge impact. We are made to have a home base. We all need a place where we feel safe and loved when we come home from doing the work that we do in the world. We need a place that reflects who we are as well as a place that invites intimate moments and conversation with the people that we love in our lives. Spending the time and energy toward this goal will not be wasted.

Image via Bonnie Tsang Photography

In Full Bloom: How To Make A Spring Bouquet

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In Full Bloom: How To Make A Spring Bouquet | Darling Magazine

Bouquets have a reputation of being gifted on special occasions. The roses your husband sent to your office for your anniversary. The tulips your parents send you each year on your birthday. The peonies that made up your bridesmaid’s bouquet at your best friend’s wedding. Each arrangement is, in its own way, sentimental and beautiful, brightening your day, your desk or bedside table, and your general outlook with its sunny blooms.

Consider this: if special occasion flowers put a smile on your face whenever you receive them, why not create your own arrangement just because? Having something as optimistic as a sunflower in your immediate space is an easy way to invite simple beauty into your daily life. Flowers are a celebration—of life, of nature, of brave little moments of underappreciated beauty in the everyday. Get to really enjoy them by consciously bringing them into your home and spending some time making them into something beautiful. Instead of buying a prepackaged, cellophane-wrapped bouquet at your local market, take the time to create your own design, and enjoy every minute of the lost art of floral arranging as a respite from the hectic nature of your regular life.

Go To The Market
Local farmers markets are the best place to shop for the components of your will-be bouquets. The merchants that sell their blooms at these markets can introduce you to little known plants and flowers, like larkspurs and anemones, happily sharing their expert insights on seasonality, scent and anything you may be curious about. The flower assortment is wide, and the plants are most often freshly cut—check the stems you’re buying to ensure they’re not brown and mushy, but rather firm and green and/or white, which indicates freshness. More than anything else, take the time to enjoy the ceremony of what you are doing. Investigate unknown types of flowers. Ask questions and get to know the people that bring these plants to your neighborhood each week. Stop and literally smell the roses.

Decide On The Overall Look
Once you select your favorites, decide on the general look of your bouquet. Looking to make an impact with a few dramatic flowers? Choose irises or tulips, and leave the stems long for a tall, well-spaced arrangement. Want something smaller with just as much flair? Opt for big impact blooms, like hydrangeas or ranunculus, and plan to cut their stems short for a dense presentation in a shorter vase. And if you’re not sure what you’re looking for, mix and match whatever flowers you like and plan to stagger their heights for a natural look. You can choose groupings of types of flowers (tropical or local wildflowers, for example), colors (brights, pastels, monochromatics), or simply create an assortment of what looks beautiful to you. Add some greenery to “accessorize” your bouquet, and you’re set. Remember, there’s no such thing as a “wrong” bouquet. As long as it makes you happy, it’s right.

Prep The Arrangement
As soon as you get your flowers home, trim their stems to your desired heights. (If you’re planning on leaving them long, make sure to trim off about half an inch anyway—this exposes a fresh stem to the water that will be in its vase and increases how long the flower will stay alive.) Start arranging your bouquet by placing the most prominent flowers in your vase, then decorating around them with your smaller specimens and greenery. Be sure to rotate the vase often, making sure you like the look of your bouquet from all angles. If your stems aren’t staying still, use a rubber band around their base to keep them in order.

Nourish Your Blooms
After your flowers are arranged just-so, apply these tips to keep them looking their best for days to come. Remember that bacteria breed in vase water quickly, and lead to rotted stems and wilted flowers—keep your bouquet’s water supply fresh and bacteria at bay will a tablespoon of vodka or vinegar. Also important is nourishment. Flowers do well with a little sugar in their water, which you can supply with a shot of flat soda or 2 TB of sugar. Want the arrangement to last even longer? Change out your water and trim a tiny amount off each stem every other day to keep your arrangement fresh.

Delight In The Beauty
Now, for the most important part of the process: take a moment each time you see your bouquet and reflect on a positive thought. Think of the time that you spent picking its flowers, the new things you learned and the unexpected conversations you had at the farmers market. Be grateful that you took the time, that you had the time, to create something beautiful from scratch, and realize that while it may not perfect, it’s the perfect reminder to appreciate the little things that bring beauty into your life everyday.

Image via Frolic

A Springtime Tutorial: Floral Collage

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I have a confession: I cannot keep flowers alive. It seems all I have to do is glance their way and a petal will drop to the floor. What’s more frustrating, I adore plants and flowers, but lack the learned talent of keeping them blooming with life. The green thumb in my family must have skipped a generation.

This problem led me to discover (quite by accident) a fun project that could immortalize any beautiful bouquet bound to wilt on my coffee table.

A Springtime Tutorial: Floral Collage | Darling Magazine

What You’ll Need
- Camera
- Flat Surface (table/poster board/wood/etc.)
- Flowers
- Glue or Tape (optional)
- Florists Wire (optional)

Step One
Find a flat surface for arranging your flower collage on. Try to pick a surface that is clean, a smooth texture, and a nice color (I used a white IKEA table).

Step Two
Take your chosen flowers and arrange them on the surface. You will be photographing them from above, so keep that in mind while you design your look. You can spell words, create shapes and devise patterns with the flowers. If the flowers don’t want to stay where you put them, feel free to glue or tape them in place. Always make sure that whatever you use to reinforce your designs are hidden underneath the flowers and not visible on camera.

A Springtime Tutorial: Floral Collage | Darling Magazine

Step Three
Standing over your floral designs, photograph them from above. Play with composition and what part of your design you want to be the focus. It may take several shots to get the right one, so don’t be afraid to take many pictures.

A Springtime Tutorial: Floral Collage | Darling Magazine

A Springtime Tutorial: Floral Collage | Darling Magazine

Step Four
Choose your favorite shots and have them printed. The pictures can then be used for cards, calendars, or framed for use in your home. I recently added some whimsy to my apartment by framing my floral collages. It gave my living space the perfect pops of color for spring.

A Springtime Tutorial: Floral Collage | Darling Magazine

I hope you enjoyed learning how to preserve your favorite bouquets. Here’s to keeping the freshness of spring flowers alive year round!