Monthly Archives: May 2012

Color-ful: Purple

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Continued from Color-Ful, a guide to practical color psychology.

Associations: Royalty, intuition, imagination, mystery, spirituality, regal beauty, rarity.

Effects: Brings balance, transforms fears and obsessions, combats shock and fear, and helps bring healing and cleansing from emotional disturbances.

Physical Effects: Stimulates brain activity in problem solving, suppresses appetite, and balances metabolism.

Uses: Worn throughout history by royalty due to the expensive process of extracting the dye from tree bark and shellfish. It is also a common color used by art companies.

When to Wear: Evening parties or times of creative expression are best for this color, as it creates a noticeable sense of mystery about you and sets you apart as unique.

Applying to the Home: Best for the creative areas of your space, such as an art room, table, or library. Purple also works well in small doses within the bathroom or dressing room to enhance the feeling of luxury and beauty.

 

Photo credit: www.wendyslookbook.com

A Fruitful Life Versus A Successful Life

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I don’t know about you but at times I feel the pressure of quantity over quality. Am I working enough hours? Am I producing enough articles? Do I have enough speaking engagements lined up? And if I do, how many people will come? I have a bad habit of measuring my success based on numbers. Perhaps this is because I tend to be addicted to achieving and perhaps it is in part because our society rewards this addiction. Lately, I have been questioning what it means to achieve.

What does it mean to have a fruitful life verses a successful life. What does it mean to have a life that is meaningful and not just impressive? While numbers are a reality of the world in which we live, I believe there is much to be enjoyed in focusing on a fruitful life, rather than a successful one.

When we focus on being successful over fruitful, we lose the integrity of who we are. When we are oriented toward success, we try to change ourselves to be what others want us to be, losing ourselves and our effectiveness in blessing others. When we are oriented toward fruitfulness, we are able to embrace our unique giftedness and shine where we shine best–trusting that we will be used in ways that we are meant to be.

Success is insatiable. A drive for success leads to a life that always demands more of us. It makes us feel as though we are never enough, and peace never comes. Whereas a fruitful life begins with contentment—contentment about who we are and joy about the unique gifts we’ve were given. Knowing our value is complete and untouchable leads to our ability to bear true fruit.

Bearing fruit is difficult for a tree without the basic elements that plants need to grow—water, sunlight, good soil—and the same is true for us. We cannot be fruitful in our work or relationships when we are not able to take care of ourselves physically, emotionally and spiritually. On the other hand, success will drive us toward burn out as we try to please everyone around us without first nurturing ourselves, eventually rendering us useless and fruitless in our service to others.

Success seeks to compare. A drive towards success means that we are only as good as our last performance and our value is measured against those around us. Conversely, when we focus on bearing fruit we are truly able to live our own life well. Being fruitful looks different for everybody and therefore it is useless to compare. You cannot compare apples and oranges.

What kind of life do you want to lead? A life of depth and quality, or a life of fleeting successes to be counted and not appreciated? I can’t help but think how our world might change if more of us focused on the former.

 

Photo credit: Che and Fidel blog

Love Thy Neighbor

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It’s an all too familiar paradox that we can feel most alone when we’re surrounded by others. While city life provides great opportunities for community, it is also incredibly isolating when it seems individuals abound, but no true friend can be found.

When I’m lonely, I idealize other places, other times. I picture “the way things used to be” — neighbors greeting each other as they go out for their morning newspapers, chatting as they manicure their front yards, sitting on porch swings in the evening. Perhaps this still exists somewhere. Perhaps it never existed at all.
Regardless of whether we can achieve some Utopian neighborhood ideal, neighborliness is still something that we can and should practice.

These days it is difficult, because our communities have largely shifted away from being geographically based. People don’t necessarily work or play near their homes. Community forms around shared interests, and much of it has shifted online. But there is something unique and irreplaceable about interacting with those physically near you.

A friend of mine recently told me how she has bonded with her neighbor’s dog across their shared fence, but has never interacted with the dog’s owner. I, too, see my neighbor’s pets more often than their personal faces. I see the same collared cat prowling around my parking space, I hear my neighbor’s energetic kitten tearing back and forth across the hardwood floors. Subtle reminders of the invisible human neighbors that I do have, but never see. Even with a shared parking lot, we simply never cross paths! If I lived in a suburban bubble, with my own house and an attached garage, the seclusion would make more sense. But it happens even in the city if you’re not intentional about reaching out.

I try to be out as much as possible, watering plants on my small porch, or walking down to the corner store for just an item or two. I’ve met two neighbors in the building next to mine this way, just by being outside at the right time. One was out walking her cat on a leash, and unless you live on my block, you don’t see that every day! That made for a good, if awkward, conversation starter. The other was out walking his two dogs, and since I happen to have some dog-sitting on my resume, I offered to watch his dogs if he ever needed to leave town. We haven’t reached the point of sharing iced teas and long conversations on the front porch, but it’s a start!

I tried to come up with some more creative ways to meet neighbors, but legitimate trust issues can make it difficult to do anything out of the ordinary. I can’t just walk over to the neighbors’ apartment, the one from which I occasionally hear a baby crying, and offer to baby sit. I probably won’t just knock on random doors until I find someone to take a walk around the neighborhood with me.

So, I realized, it may be best to stick with some tried and true strategies: 

Give housewarming gifts to new neighbors–plants or home baked goods are good bets.
Invite neighbors to a barbecue, or to join in providing items for a group yard sale.
Share your abundance. Too much basil in your window garden? Give it away!
Borrow something you need. The cliché cup of sugar may work. Personally I prefer to borrow a small appliance, like an electric mixer, that I don’t have the cupboard space for.

Whether you’re new to your neighborhood, or you’ve been there for decades, it’s always the right time to start meeting neighbors. It’s easiest if you seize the opportunity while it’s fresh. But even if it’s not, it’s better late than never! You might not create the ideal neighborhood overnight, but you just might make someone’s day.

 

Photo Credit: http://angels-overcome.tumblr.com/page/4

Mini Mix: Transition

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The theme to this month’s mini mix is transition. For me, this mix is the perfect combination of embracing the exciting newness of a change ahead, while coexisting with that natural resistance to a shift that is certain to occur. Transitions are inevitable, whether we welcome them or not. Even if we are fearful of change, there is always beautiful possibility in the wild unknown. Thankfully, music has an amazing way of becoming the soundtrack to whatever may be occurring for us at pivotal points in our lives. This little group of songs is just that for me. Download the Mini Mix here for free and enjoy!

Track Listing

1. Oh My My by Act As If

2. Don’t Fight The Feeling by Harriet

3. Hold On by Alabama Shakes

4. The Woods by Daughter

5. My False by Matt Corby

6. Free by Graffiti6

7. California by Delta Spirit

8. Lost At Sea by Cashier No.9

 

Photo Credit: weheartit.com

Boundaries: Creating a Game Plan

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In my last article, we came up with the WHY behind our relationship boundaries, discussing how the WHY gives purpose, lays the foundation, and keeps us committed to the boundaries each of us sets for ourselves.

Today, we’re discussing the HOW.

Building healthy, effective boundaries begins with envisioning where you want these relationships to go and what you’d like them to become. As Stephen Covey, author of the best-selling book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, so wisely says, “begin with the end in mind.”

In order to know what sort of framework you want to have, you first need to know what you’re trying to build. Think through your friendships and your romantic relationships. What do you ultimately want out of them? For your romantic relationships, is it marriage? If so, what kind of marriage? Are the friendships that you ultimately want long-lasting and authentic? Are they people that build you up, challenge you, have everything in common with you and/or bring a totally different perspective into your life?

Once you decide where you’re trying to go, it’s time to create the game plan to get there. Every day you’re making decisions in relationships that will either strengthen or weaken them. A good way to determine which boundaries are best for you is by asking yourself what would happen to you and that relationship if you DID implement it, and what would happen if you DID NOT.

The suggested boundaries listed below focus on romantic relationships, but some of them could apply to friendships as well (such as respecting each other’s time, and having a balance of how much time is spent together versus including others). Hopefully, some of these points will get you started on creating your own practical, specific boundaries:

-Making sure you are balancing time spent together and time spent with other friends or family.
-Respecting one another’s personal time.
-Going on “intentional” dates to see each other in various situations–ie: going out with groups, double dates, volunteering together, picnics, concerts, etc.
-Perhaps becoming friends first before dating.
-Limiting alcohol consumption (If you’re 21+).
-Having a clear idea of your sexual boundaries: what will best protect your body and your heart?
-Paying attention to what your clothing says about how you view yourself and how you want others to view you. Our wardrobe can speak volumes about our expectations and boundaries without us ever opening our mouth. 
-Guarding your heart by limiting the amount of time spent communicating each day/week.

You’ll want to add or remove items for your own list according to what you’re trying to ultimately build. I encourage you not to compromise on what the boundaries look like, and not to let others tell you that they’re unrealistic, too narrow, or that you have set your bar too high. Remember, this is about helping you have the best relationships possible. At the end of the day, it is you that is going to be most affected by what you decide, so choose wisely.

The final part of your boundary equation is accountability. Find people who will support you, who you give permission to call you out, who will help you stick to what you’re building, and who will remind you of your WHY when it becomes difficult.

Your recipe for success, in a nutshell: Decide why boundaries are important to you, envision what kinds of relationships you’re trying to build towards, create the game plan for getting you there, and find someone to hold you accountable.

 

Photo Credit: http://ideeley.tumblr.com/post/20022848972

Baked Oatmeal Goodness

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Whether you live alone or with a roommate or husband, it’s always the right time to treat yourself or others with a heart-warming breakfast. Here’s a delicious recipe by Kitchen Artist Elisa McLaughlin that everyone is bound to enjoy!

The goods:
2.5 cups regular rolled oats
¼ cup oat bran
¼ cup steel cut oats
¼ cup flaxseed
2 tbsp baking powder
½ tsp salt
½ tsp cinnamon
¼ cup packed brown sugar
2 cups milk
1 beaten egg
½ cup applesauce
¼ cup coconut oil
¼ cup granulated sugar or agave
2 cups fruit (fresh or frozen)

The way: 
1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
2. Combine all dry goods.
3. Combine all else except fruit.
4. Mix very well.
5. Pour into medium sized pan.
6. Bake for 15 minutes at 400, then stir in fruit.
7. Bake for another 15 to 20 minutes.
8. Enjoy hot or cold or in a bowl with warm milk and cinnamon.

 

Photo Credit: bakedbree.com

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

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Sadly, the world we live in glamorizes and idolizes perfection, constantly telling us lies that we aren’t enough. You are not thin enough. You’re not pretty enough. You’re not creative enough. You’re not smart enough. Your hair isn’t colored enough, think enough, long enough. Your teeth are not white enough. Your clothes are not stylish enough. Whether its in magazines, on TV shows, or in unhealthy relationships, these are just a few of the lies woman are presented with on a daily basis.

I went through a hard season of giving into these lies about never measuring up, never feeling pretty or skinny enough. Those thoughts and struggles would then lead to thoughts of: Why am I here? What is my worth? There are millions of people on this earth, why was I created?

Personally, I grew up in a home hearing and reading scripture from the Bible. Now, if you don’t read or believe the words in the Bible, I respect that and believe we’re all on individual life journeys.

For me, one such verse that has helped me on my personal journey is Psalm 139:14:  “I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” It was used in sad, hopeless times, to try and cheer me up, and even in happy times to try to affirm and encourage me in my endeavors.

Yet, since I heard this message so often, I started to become a bit numb to it. I started to brush it off, not realizing it’s deeper meaning and how it applies to my life. It wasn’t until recently that I read it and a new perspective was shown.

Whether you grew up hearing this message over and over again, or if you’re reading these words for the first time, having no clue what it means to be “fearfully and wonderfully made,” the truth of this is the same: YOU WERE CREATED WITH PURPOSE, INTENT AND WORTH. But let’s take a look at a bit of historical context to better understand this phrase…

In the original Hebrew text of the Bible, the word fearfully means: with great reverence, heart-felt interest and with respect. The word wonderfully means: unique, set apart, marvelous.

If you chose to believe this message, that you are “fearfully and wonderfully made,” then I think its important to start looking at what this means for your life.

I believe it means that, when God created you, it was with heart-felt interest and respect. He didn’t just throw you together because He needed another human on the earth, He didn’t just make you to BE a reverent, respectful and heart-felt person, but He created you FROM a place of reverence, respect and interest

I don’t know about you, but I have a hard time wrapping my head around all this. The God of the universe created me out of respect and is interested in me. Actually interested in my life. Woah…that’s big! And not only this, but I was created to be unique, and marvelous.

The next time you find yourself asking, Why am I here? What was I created for? God don’t you care about me? Remember your Creator. Remember that He didn’t have to make you. He didn’t have to create another person to put on earth–we have a lot of them. But He did make you. He took time to create and make everything about you to be unique, to be intended for something great.

You are beautiful. You are enough. You have purpose.

That’s why you’re here. That’s who you are.

You were created to be marvelous. You are loved more than you know. There has never been, and there will never be another you.

Hold onto this truth and continue to blossom into the “fearfully and wonderfully made” woman that God created you to be…

 

Photo Credit: naturalhairisdope.tumblr.com

Fast and Healthy Snacks for the Working Girl

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Times have changed, and while there is no extra minute in the day to make three wholesome meals from start to finish, there should be little reason to save money by going through fast food drive-thru.

Can convenience be healthy? Sure, but not in the way we are used to.

Resist zipping over to the golden arches between classes or dropping a wad at the gourmet farm-to-plate cafe walking distance from your job. Instead, stock your work fridge, trunk cooler, and day bag with these naturally gluten-free and ready-to-eat foods purchased from your local health food store. If you are needing a snack, a meal, or an energizing beverage, these ideas will satiate your hunger, and save your health and money. All you need is a fork, knife, and a spoon (and a couple napkins).

 

1. These inexpensive protein packed balls contain a good amount of nourishing fat for your hardworking brain. Cage-free, already hard boiled eggs can be found at Trader Joe’s or other health food stores, or can be easily made at home. Eat them with hot sauce or add slices to a salad.

2. Not all pickles are created equal. Bubbies Pure Kosher Dills are swimming in probiotic brine which means every crispy bite is supporting good digestion. These babies are a low-carb finger-licking-good snack.

3. One ounce of savory jerky has about eleven grams of protein, which is equivalent to a small hamburger patty. While good quality grass-fed beef jerky can be found at farmers markets, gluten-free beef jerky can be purchased from Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s.

4. With about fifty brands of protein bars staring back at you in the snack aisle, one brand stands above the rest. Larabars simply contain dates, dried fruits, and nuts, which means no soy, corn syrup, gluten, or added sugar (there’s cane sugar in the ones with chocolate). Enjoy a bar for sweet treat or before you hit the gym.

5. Full-fat cheddar cheese sticks are an excellent source of energy. For a sweet and savory snack, alternate taking bites of cheese with a juicy pear or grapes, or round-out a salad with cheese chunks.

6. The nuts and dried fruit combo has become the ultimate snack–keep an eye out for organic nuts and sugar/sulfer-free dried fruit. A mix of coconut flakes, almond slices, dark chocolate chunks, and dried apricots make a tasty meal between meals. Tired of almonds? Try omega-3 fatty acid packed macadamia nuts or pecan pie bites: halved dates, seeded, and stuffed with pecans.

7. While you’re out to lunch, imagine being out to sea with a can of tuna, or a personal favorite, Kipper Snacks. With lots of vitamin A and D, the unfishy smoked herring can be eaten straight out of the can or mixed with olive oil, lemon, and chives. Use cucumber slices or endive spears as scoops.

8. Salted avocado halves are easily devoured with a spoon. Or, try Terra’s Sweets and Beets chips, baby carrots, baby cucumbers, and cherry tomatoes dipped in homemade guacamole (avocado mashed with organic jarred salsa).

9. Take a break with a pack of Justin’s Nut Butter and an apple or banana for an energy punch. A couple of clementines, a handful of cherries, or some frozen blueberries are also nutritious snack-worthy options.

10. While it is tempting to get out and drive to the local coffee shop for a midday cup, take a walk, find a park bench, and savor a bottle of kombucha, mineral, or coconut water on a bench. Stash some organic Numi tea bags in your desk or purse pocket and just add hot water for a ridiculously cheap steamy brew.

11. If you are craving your mom’s Sunday roast chicken, you aren’t out of luck. Pick up one of those rotisserie chickens at the grocery store (Whole Foods has them) and pair with a microwaved sweet potato. Better yet, wrap-up shredded chicken and guacamole in lettuce leaves for a quick and easy bite.

 

Photo Credit: http://shechive.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/avocado-meal-40.jpg